We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize