its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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