It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
