and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
