I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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