Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
