I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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