another moral hangover. fuck.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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