are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
