is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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