so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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