Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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