Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
