So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
