so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
