please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize