"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
