My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
