Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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