Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
