you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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