Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
