hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
