I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
