I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
