Your face is a jimmy john
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
