Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what day is it and did you see me today?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
