Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
