BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im holly from the hills drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
