I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
