We're like a lot better than the average bears
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
