You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
