im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
