its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
