Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
