I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
