All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
