i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
