I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
