We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Small penises have feelings too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
