I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
