wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
