Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You're like the curious george of whores
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
