Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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