Tell her she can't have a vagina
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
