I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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