WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
