I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
