please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
