actually, I'm a sock model
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
