so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
