I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
